Friday, December 5, 2008

From Twilight Fever to Post- Twilight Flu

Okay, so it may seem that we've dropped off the face of the earth. The Saturday after Thanksgiving, Tod's dad, sister, two bothers and their significant others and children were all here for a Thanksgiving get together. We ate two twenty pound turkeys, 5 pies, 10 lbs of mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, cranberries, a gallon of gravy, and rolls. Whew! A LOT of work! I was up at 3 in the morning to get everything done, but it was a fun day for everyone and we ate till we were sick. As a sort of a thank-you-to-myself gift, the women went to see Twilight again. Any excuse will do right? So we got there and the theater was about half full. We sat down on the edge, three seats from the closest people. As the previews began, two men and a lady filed into our row. Why? There was half a theater full of empty seats, but they had to squeeze into our row like pieces in a human Tetris puzzle. This now puts me next to- we'll call him Joe-
Apparently Joe had been coerced into coming to the movie...not sure of his relationship to the girl, but I think he was the odd man out. The movie starts and Joe howls like a monkey. I glare at him and mutter under my breath (of course in the theater seats his ear was 6 inches away) "If you ruin this for me, so help me I'll stick my elbow in your teeth!"
So Joe piped down. He scaled down his attack on my pleasure to a non- vocal approach. Cough, hack, cough, cough, snarkle. Every other minute through the entire movie. And that wasn't all. He took over the armrest and further violated my personal space by spreading his legs and flopping his knee on my leg. Who is this guy Joe? Where is his date? Do I have "snuggle me" written on my forehead?
The movie ends and I'm irritated. Joe distracted me and I didn't get to soak in all the love.
As if that wasn't gift enough from Joe, he also blessed me with the influenza. Blast you Joe!
So that is how I've spent the last week...
Along with the other delightful symptoms, I haven't had a voice for three days. This is a change the kids pretend they feel sorry about, but I can see in their eyes that they are secretly enjoying it. So here I sit, still coughing and aching and cursing Joe for ruining my week. For now, I'm camped out in my recliner, drugged and watching the world pass me by. I'll let you know when all is well again, and if you see Joe, give him a big thank-you elbow in the teeth for me!