Friday, September 4, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
With gun and sterile earrings in hand, Polly approaches the happy victim. Her mother had dotted her ears so the intended target was clear. Then the moment of truth...
With a jerk of pain it is over... but Polly missed! The earring was off the mark by a good quarter inch.
"Whoops! Is that okay?"
Um, yeah, Polly. Because every little girl wants a random piercing. Oh yes, and by the way, could you accidentally drift down to the belly button? That would be a hit at the elementary school.
Poor Emma. The fairy tale buddy-style ear piercing event came to a screeching halt. Polly pulls the earring irritably out of the tiny lobe. The wailing is drawing a crowd now, and the other jewelry counter employee comments on the time that she was kicked during a piercing. Sounds about right Emma, kick away!
So when Emma is calmed, and Polly has resigned herself to the fact that she will be repeating the job, we get started again. But this time, Emma had to pick another color of earrings. Adding insult to injury, Polly announces that there are no more of her first choice. Perfect.
Meanwhile, clutching at her mothers clothes is Emma's poor little friend. She has watched the whole scene play out and there is no way in heck she is going to subject herself to the shaky handed-so-called-professional. I'm getting sympathetic looks from her mother, as well as the passers by, but we press on. Gun in hand, Polly hobbles down to her knees.
"You are making me so nervous, Sweetie! I am shakin' like a leaf!" Just now you're shakin'? And who do you think is more nervous? And so with a non-eventful conclusion the ears are pierced. The pain is over and the pretties are in place.
When Polly starts to prepare the next victim, she escapes just in time, perfect little lobes intact. Come to find out, you can purchase the piercing gun for 5 bucks. That's right, folks. For 5 dollars the entire scene can play out in your own home, minus the incompetence. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that it is a pretty small learning curve for the job of "professional ear piercer". And I think I could even produce a very official looking document. The moral of the story...when your are going to permanently alter your body for the sake of beauty, leave it to the professionals. Just not the Wal-Mart kind!