Our babies

This week has been a blur of fever and snot. The flu is a delightful period in a mother's life. Last night as Tod and I were regrouping after a long day, we were discussing the people we knew who were currently expecting babies. It is an odd thing for me to be the observer in this area instead of an active participant. I asked Tod if he was sure we were done, and he said our #4 would be birth control enough for anyone- we could lend her out!
It is such a double edged sword to be faced with the limit of your family. On one hand, I am really enjoying the fact that I can put my kids to bed at night, and they go. There is no rocking, or pacing, and I usually get a full night's sleep. They can all communicate their needs, happiness, and desires. They are all to the point where they are somewhat self-entertaining.
Then I think of our friends who will be reliving an amazing experience. That unbearable pain, followed by sudden relief and overwhelming joy. It is instant love- they look enough like you that they are instantly yours, and enough like your husband that you fall in love with them. Looking into eyes that still have a little glimmer of Heavenly memory, overcome by the knowledge that you are everything your precious baby needs, and they love you for it. There's no back-talk, no rolling of the eyes, no stomping up the stairs. They just wrap their tiny hands lovingly around your finger, and drift off into a satisfied sleep. There's no other time in motherhood that can be compared to it.
I am thankful five times over to have been able to stare into the perfect face of a new and unknown personality, anxious to find out what their future holds.
And now that's where we sit- finding out every day what the future holds. Today it may be watching Josh hit a double, or Aaron pitching his first game, Emma skipping through the house with her latest masterpiece, Anna telling one of her famous stories, or Leah shakin' it to the radio when she thinks no one's watching- we glory in our babies all over again.